So the next part of our journey continues… It has been about
a year since John was born. He has made our life so joyful. Who knew that
running around a dining room table could bring such laughter to all three of us
or that we would sing cartoon theme
songs every minute of our lives or that playing peekaboo would be our new
favorite afternoon activity.
One year ago was a very fearful time. I was always wondering
if John would wake up covered in petechiae. Every red dot became blood, every
smudge of dirt became a bruise. There was so much unknown.
Each month that God continued to heal John’s blood and we
saw the miracle of his platelets rise and rise each month. Our fears were
released and we could start laughing and playing and enjoying this fun baby
season. We seemed to play mickey mouse 24/7 because of Johns inherent love for
the red short wearing mouse. We memorized the theme song… I am not kidding we
googled the lyrics and memorized them because it made John smile like crazy. We
had nightly family dance parties and saw God bring out so much of John’s personality.
I began to stop explaining TAR syndrome and say …” He just
has short arms”.. and he does have short arms but his inspiration and joy he
gives reaches long and deep. I have been thinking so much about John’s crooked
hands. His hands are crooked they turn inward and don’t allow him to do the
things that his friends do . His vain mother always struggles when we are out
and people seem to be so inquisitive about John’s little arms and crooked
hands, but John just shoves more of that fried chicken in and gives them a wave
and a smile. His little arms and crooked hands always flap with excitement when
we walk in the room or his favorite show
comes on.
In a few days we are going to have them straightened. John
is going to have to go through so much pain and it doesn’t seem fair. I get
upset and angry at God sometimes. John hasn’t done anything to deserve these
short arms and crooked hands. John probably loves his little arms… for one
thing the chickfila nuggets get to his mouth faster J
We believe that this is going to be the best thing for John
and that his crooked arms will be straight arms. There have been so many things
about John that have brought me closer with God. Like I think about not wanting
to see John in so much pain, but God put Jesus through even more pain for me… yeah
me the girl who gets angry and mad at him. I think of how God is the one who
makes the crooked things straight and that we all have crooked things in our
lives. Some of them aren’t as easy to straighten as Johns arms are. I think of
my crooked heart that is vain and jealous and thinks hurtful things and loves
the wrong things that takes a way longer surgery to correct.
Today we begin this journey of making little crooked arms
into long straight ones.
